Welcome to my blog ! Bienvenidos a mi blog ! Bienvenu a mon blog !
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Also, feel free to leave comments on my entries. If you leave comments and you've got a blog here on blogspot, I'll come by your blog and leave some comments as well *smiles*
Have a nice day/evening/night

Not giving up !!

Monday, January 30, 2017

Homemade Iced Tea / Sweet Tea

I was craving some iced tea last night but have none in the house, so I decided to look online to see if I can find some easy recipes for it. I came across a few, most of the directions and ingredients were similar, so I decided to tweak some of the recipes and blend them in to one recipe...now its my own. 

Its not overly sweet, and has a hint of vanilla to it, but you can flavor it with anything you want really. 

Friends on fb and other social media have been asking me to share the recipe, so here is what I came up with, feel free to tweak it to your own desire. 

(My recipe yeilds 4L of sweet tea, but you can cut it in half to make less if needed)

Step 1.
- In a large pot, place 16 cups of water and bring to a boil. 
- Remove from heat, and add in 14 bags of tea 
(I used Salada orange pekoe, but you can use any type of tea you like, and you can also use loose tea, not sure of the exact quantity)
- let steep minimum 5 mins, or till desired strength 
(I like strong tea so I let mine steep for 20 mins)

Step 2.
- In a small saucepan, on low heat, mix together 2 cups of  sugar, and 2 cups of water till all the sugar has melted. 
- Add in vanilla extract and lemon juice to taste 
(I didn't measure mine, but I would guess that I used about 1/4 cup of each)
- Mix well.
(you can use any flavorings you want for your tea, check below for options)

Step 3. 
- Once tea has reached desired strength, remove tea bags.
-  Stir in sweet syrup mixture. 

Step 4. 
- Let cool to room temp
- Place in to container(s) and then place in the fridge.
- Let refridgerate for a few hours, serve cold.

And this is what mine looked like, so good, wayyyyyy better than any store bought mixes I've ever tried. Mind you, I highly doubt I'd forever stop buying my favorite Arizona green tea, or the Lipton Pur Leaf ones, cause those are really good, but this definitely saves me money and at least this way I know exactly what is going in to it, and I can control the amount of sugar that goes in to it, so its not as bad for my health as some of the powder mixes I've had. Plus, like my friend Tanya says, the powders often taste like lemon dish water lol.

Some of the flavor options I've seen in some recipes are...


the possibilities are endless !  

What flavor(s) would you add if you made this yourself ? 
Let me know in the comments section.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

I am fed up !!! We're adults, not teenagers FFS !

This post might be abit long, cause its been on my mind for awhile, but I need to say this, because the situation is getting out of hand now. 

Whassup my lil Sparks, how's it going ? I hope ya'll are doing better than me tonight. I'm not feeling well, I caught my daughter's cold, and any who knows me personally, knows, when I get sick, i get SICKKKKKKK. Not to mention I'm really annoyed right now. Well, I BEEN annoyed, but I'm at my witts end with the amount of annoyance I'm feeling right now. 

Put it this way, I am so annoyed, I ALMOST shut down all my social media accounts AND ALMOST canceled my channel last night. But then I thought about it, and nope, I worked too damn hard on my channel to get it where it is today to let some haters/trolls run me off !!

Let me just say before I start my little rant, don't expect to see some names, because I'm not that type of person, I won't bring shade to any particular people, and won't call out anyone and give them ammunition to attack me, nope not me. You may THINK you know what I'm talking about, or who, but you can speculate all you want, I won't confirm or deny any names even if I'm asked in private. THAT, is how you shut down drama....by ignoring it ! 

Now, With that said, I have a question for ya'll....


I swear, the last few months on YouTube, that is what it feels like has been happening. There is so much drama, it makes your head hurt. Well mine at least. I did a video about Yt drama and why I stay out of it months ago, but honestly, that hasn't stopped people from trying to drag me in to it. Not happening, so just stop, like seriously. 

I pride myself on the fact that I am able to stay neutral and not choose this one's side over that one. Even though I have my own opinions on the drama that has been happening, I keep it to myself, because I don't want anyone saying that I am taking sides or anything. Now, I'm being accused of "flipflopping" because I am honestly friends with a bunch of people who don't get along with each other. 

Like WHAT ?!?! Is you serious right now ?!?!

So because I have a brain of my own, and don't allow anyone to influence who I become friends with based on who they like or don't like, I am flipflopping ? PLEASE ! Its called BEING AN ADULT ! Just because "Jane" doesn't like "Susan", doesn't mean I can't be friends with both of them ! 

I've said before, I do not like drama, and I do not want to be a part of it. Yes, sometimes I will ask questions, because I am not involved in the drama, so I want to come to my own conclusions and try to understand what's going on.

Are you lost yet ?
Sorry if you are, but I'm trying my best to explain how I feel without releasing any names. 

Lemme try and break it down for you this way....

Months ago, I would say late spring, early summer, I found a channel of someone who had been posting content about a youtuber I used to follow (until she changed for the worse and I could no longer support her), then I decided to check this new person's channel and watch some other videos, and I liked what I saw, so I clicked subscribe, as most of us do on Yt when we find a content creator who creates content we like to watch. 

One day, while browsing my list of "subscriptions" to catch up on the new videos that my fave yt'ers had posted, I noticed this person was hosting something called a live hangout, which I hadn't heard about before, so I was curious and I clicked in to listen. I enjoyed myself so much that night in that hangout, evevn though I was only talking on sidechat, that I decided to keep coming back for the hangouts, cause they were fun. I made quite a few new aquaintances from those hangouts, and enjoyed it because many of the people on "panel" (as its called when people are involved in the hangout on the mic) as well as the sidechat made me feel welcome, and made me feel like a part of something. It felt nice to see people say "Hey Chispa", "welcome back Chispa", and actually engage with me in conversation. Many of those people I have come to consider friends, and even though we only talk via sidechats, or tweets & dms (for now), they still have become important to me, asking how I'm doing, how my daughter is doing, talking to me about things that have to do with my daughter especially since many of them are themselves single moms, so they know what I'm going through. 

It was like a little community I felt a part of, or better yet a little family.

Still following me ? 

Then drama happened. So the little family I felt a part of separated. I felt like a little child who was watching her parents go through a nasty divorce, and not knowing what to do. So, I decided, I wasn't going to do anything, that I would stay neutral, and that as long as I (or my child) were not being dragged in to the mess, there was no harm in being friends with everyone. Cause I mean seriously, we're all adults, and everyone has said on many occassions to many people "be friends with whoever you want, we won't make you choose sides". So I was like great, I can still talk to all the friends I made and not have to stick to just one hangout. So when the others made their hangouts, I'd spend my nights jumping back and forth from h/o to h/o, saying hi to everyone, asking how everyone was, then settling in to listen to whoever had the most fun h/o for that night. I wasn't going for the gossip, I wasn't even involving myself in the gossip. 9 times outta 10, when I was talking on the sidechat with people, I was talking about completely irrelevant things, things that weren't even being talked about on the mic, unless the mic chat was something non-drama and fun to talk about. 

I thought that was enough, but apparently not. 

As i said earlier, some people have started accusing me of being a flipflopper because I go in everyone's hangouts. Which is ridiculous. Name me one time where I instigated drama or kept the drama going. 

Its okay, I'll wait...... 
*humming jeopardy theme music* 

NEVER, that's right. I have, on occassion, asked questions pertaining to drama that was being talked about, but that wasn't to instigate or continue it, it was simply for me to understand what the bloody hell is going on. Honestly, its to the point, the drama has become so far fetched and ridiculous, that it makes it hard to believe ANYONE who is involved in drama or says anything about the drama. Hence why I stay out of it. 

The straw that broke the camel's back was last night. 

I was in a h/o, and people were talking about drama (as per usual), and I asked a few questions. I had made a comment about someone who was in that particular chat, and it was a compliment, because that person had never said anything wrong TO ME, or ABOUT ME (or my child) as far as I know, and being the person I am, just because my other friends don't like this person, doesn't mean that I will automatically jump on the band wagon and dislike them, until I see or hear something for myself that I dislike. Follow me ? Anyways, someone who was watching the chat, took it upon themselves to screenshot my remark and send it to one of my good friends, I don't know if it was to discredit me, or if it was to anger my friend (because she has been the subject of attack alot recently), but either way, I almost lost a good friend yesterday, over a friggin screenshot. Luckily, her and I talked things out and we are okay, I explained why I said what I did, and she understood, and even though she's younger than me, she gave me some good advice about trusting people. 

My point is, WHY

Why do that ? Did *I* do something to upset someone to warrant them trying to break up a friendship ? Is your hatred for my friend so intense that you have to make her lose all the people she considers friends just to give yourself some gross satisfaction ?

Why can't people, grown ass people, understand that it IS okay for people to be friends with whomever they choose, even if its someone you don't get along with ?! That doesn't diminish the value of your friendship any just because of who they choose to befriend. If you think someone they are friends with is a bad person, let them find that out on their own, you can't expect people to learn from their mistakes if they are prevented from making them in the first place. 

Okay, I've babbled enough, my point is, (if you're even reading to this point), leave me out of the drama, I have enough to deal with in my real life without adding internet drama to it. Don't screen shot my words, don't try to cause drama with me and ANY of my friends from YouTube, just accept the fact that I am friends with many people, and you may not like everyone I am friends with, just like I may not like everyone you are friends with.

Come on, I mean this IS the internet, many of us may not even EVER meet in person, especially those Yt friendships, so why mess with something that gives us joy, even if just temporarily ? Is your life that boring that you need to mess with others ? 

Why can't we all just get along ?!

 p.s. feel free to leave comments and let me know what you think about this and what i've said.

Monday, October 17, 2016

What is wrong with society ?!?!

Quite often on social media, as well as in movies and tv shows, people seem to complain about men who don't do enough for their kids, or men that are deadbeat dads.

I completely get it, especially being a single mom, I get it, believe me. BUT, there still IS good men out there who actually WANT to be in their children's lives but often can't because their "babymom" is the one making it damn near impossible to be involved. Usually for ridiculous reasons, like one example..."if I can't be with you, I'm not gonna let you see your kid". there's so many idiotic reasons women keep their children from their fathers, but that's one I keep hearing over and over again.

With that said,
So many people on social media (especially on facebook),share memes putting down fathers, and a lot of us laugh at them and think nothing of it. But when someone posts something important that could actually benefit a father who is TRYING to be part of his child's life, people just ignore it, like they don't see it, or like its not important.

Like, what the hell ?!

Take my best friend Desmond for example,

This man has had his child ripped from his life for the stupidest reasons (sorry can't get in to it without his permission, plus you know I'm not one to spread drama), and he has been TRYING for awhile now to get back in to his son's life, and the courts won't help without proof of paternity. Which Desmond finally got the courts to agree to have one done, BUT the catch is, HE has to pay for the DNA test, which is over 500$ in the state of Michigan where he lives. Worst part is, he has a deadline to get this paternity test done or else the court will throw his case out and all the progress he has made up to this point, lawyers fees, etc, will be down the drain.

So he set up a GoFundMe account to try to raise the money he needs.
Is he getting any help ?
NO !!!

We've been sharing the page all over social media and asking people even if you can't donate, to please at least share the post, and does anyone ?
NOPE !!!

I think I've seen maybe 3 people share it since I posted it on twitter days ago, and maybe 1 or 2 shares on facebook.

Kind of pathetic if you ask me !

Here we have a man who is trying to show that he WANTS to be in his child's life, who WANTS to do the right thing, and his plee for help seems to be falling on deaf ears. How is that right ?! Yet people can share memes about the weather, about bacon, about stupid, unimportant things, and won't share something that can show the world that YES, there are still some good men left in the world.

Not to mention that young black men in America have a bad rap when it comes to being fathers, and here is one, trying to show that not all young black men make babies and run from their responsabilities, and isn't getting help.

Its not right !

Sorry, I had to vent, I hate seeing my best friend so upset, he loves his son, and he has been apart from him long enough as it is. If I wasn't so strapped for cash, I'd give him the money myself, but I can't, so I'm helping the way I know how, by sharing his page in hopes that SOMEONE will find it in their heart to help him be reunited with his son.

Here's the link to his GoFundMe......


Thursday, August 25, 2016

Commitment free hair color ? Is it possible ?!

The answer, is YES !

Okay, let me start by saying, i am a member of this site called BzzAgent, and if you've never heard about it before, its a site where you can do surveys and other "tasks" to be eligible to participate in what they call "campaigns".

What's a campaign you ask ? 
Well its simple, they (BzzAgent), will invite you to take part in one of their campaigns and if you agree, then they send you a product to try for free, and all you have to do is spread the word about it via social media. 

If you know what ChickAdvisor and Influenster is, then this is easy to use because its pretty much the same concept, only slightly easier, because you don't have to really post reviews of tons of products to accumulate points to be eligible for the campaigns like you do on those other sites. 

This was my first campaign from them, and I got to try out the Clairol Natural Instincts temporary hair dye. This dye says it washes out in 28 washes, and the best thing about it, is its amonia free, so anyone can use it, even pregnant women ! 

What's great is that since it is temporary, you can switch up your color and try something new to see if you like it and not have to worry about being stuck with a color you're not happy with. Plus, there is no harsh smell like with most hair dyes, because of the fact that there's no amonia in it. 

These are the colors that are available, I tried the Midnight Black. 
But I want to try a bunch more of the colors. 

It left my hair feeling soft, and surprised me when it comes to greys, because I was almost sure that being a temporary color, it wouldn't cover my greys, but it did ! 

I definitely recommend two things to you.....

1. Join BzzAgent, cause its free and you got nothing to lose. 


2. If you are looking for a way to freshen up your hair, but don't want to be stuck with a color you don't like, try this ! Its well worth it. 

What about ya'll....
Have you ever tried this product, and if so what do you think about it ? What color(s) did you try ?

Thursday, July 21, 2016

I miss you !

Where do I even begin ?

First of all....
I should've written this on Saturday, but I couldn't find the words, or better yet, I couldn't get the words to flow from my brain to my fingertips to type this. Maybe if I talk about it, it'll help me cope...highly unlikely but worth a try.

Saturday marked 13 years since one of my best friends was taken from this earth. You would think that after all this time, that the pain would have lessened, and that it would be slightly easier to handle. 
Right ? WRONG ! 

The tears don't come as often, but they still come, and when they fall, they still fall as hard. 

I can still remember the day I found out. 

I had just moved upstairs like weeks before, but still spending most of my time downstairs because I didn't have all my furniture and stuff yet. Remember ? I heard on the news that someone in Burgz had been shot, but was in critical condition in hospital. I was frantic trying to call EVERYONE, including you. I knew too many young black men in Burgz in their 20's, and the news didn't say your name. Everyone I actually got through to told me not to worry, that I'd find out soon enough. Some people even didn't want to tell me, because they didn't want to be the "bearer of bad news", so I let it go, I figured if it was anyone important, I'd find out soon enough. So I let it be.....

That was on a thursday.....

I heard nothing, no names, nothing, except that the young man died that night, and that the alleged killer was someone known to police and known to the victim. Still though, I didn't worry, cause the "boys" told me not to worry. Still couldn't reach you, but didn't clue in....

Then came saturday,,,,,
I normally don't read the obits in the newspaper, they depress me. But as I was skimming through the Gazette and came to the obits, something told me to stop for a sec. So I decided to look at the names, I saw your name, and I was like, "naw, that can't be my Shorty, its gotta be a coincidence", so I went to read the obit, just to see.... then I read it, and KNEW it was you. Like something out of a movie, I dropped to my knees, and started screaming and crying uncontrollably. I couldn't believe it, no, not my shorty, it had to be a mistake. Then Fifi calls me sounding all somber, asking if I heard the news yet. I lost it again. How can it be ? I mean I had JUST seen you like almost 2 weeks before outside LG, mind you, it wasn't good, we argued over the idiot i was dating, but still. 

I refused to believe it was you, I kept thinking it was a case of mistaken identity or something. It had to be ! How could my lil joker be gone ? It just wasn't possible ! 

Fast forward to the viewing at the funeral home.....

FiFi came with me, cause I couldn't bear to go alone. We get there.... I see this room, I didn't know it was THE room, I thought it was the waiting room or something. But I see this sign with pictures.... I look at it, and its all your pics. So guess what, I lost it again, almost dam near lost my breakfast too. Fi had to help me up off the floor, I couldn't get up, I was weak. I ran outside, said I can't do this, I need air. I call Shay and Moe, and tell them I can't do it, I can't go in. Moe talked me in to going in, for which I am still to this day very thankful.  

I went in, still shaky, embarassed that I freaked out like that, everyone was looking at me. I decide,(still not knowing it was THE room), I don't wanna sit near anyone, so I tell Fi let's go on the other side of the room. We turn the corner, and I see the casket....all I saw was your arm, and that was enough to make me run out again and drop to my knees in the lobby, cryin like a baby. Fi helped me up and told me be strong, she was there for me, and we had to go in, it was time. Even though I felt like losing my guts again, I went in, I walked in with my eyes closed so I wouldn't freak out again, and then when I sat down, I opened my eyes, and there you were, in the coffin, looking like you were sleeping. 

I sat there for a good while crying just staring. I couldn't bring myself to go up to the casket. Not until your mom came in and held my arm and walked up to the casket with me. 

Did you see that ? Mom said you were there, watching us all, and smiling at all the people who were there to show love. Did you hear the words I said ? Did you hear the secret I told you ? 

I saw other people touching you, but I couldn't. I didn't know how. I was scared to. You looked like you were sleeping, so peaceful. But at the same time, not looking like you, not the you I knew. I finally gathered enough strength to touch your hand and hold your hand for a brief minute. That minute felt like forever. Your hand was so stiff and so cold, I'm not used to that, like I told your mom, even in winter, if I held your hand or touched you, you were hot. I didn't want to remember you in this way, but at the same time, I couldn't let go, it was like you were a magnet, or glue.

I know its just my imagination, but I could SWEAR that your mouth turned up in to a slight smile when I said I love you and I'll never forget you and gave you a kiss. I know that's not possible, but that image in my mind is what helped me cope that day.

To this day, I can still remember the sound of what sounded like plastic crinkling when I put my hand on your chest, I still remember the feel of your cold hand, and the shivers I got through my body when I felt it. I remember what you looked like laying there. Some times when I close my eyes, I see it, one of the reasons I hate sleeping. 

Then the funeral.....
Sittin there in the church with Roxy, bawlin our eyes out. Especially after the casket was taken out of the church and you were driven away in the herse. Sitting in the park tokin', and Talking about you and how silly you were helped a little, and it felt good to be with friends I hadn't seen in forever. 

Then when we found out what happened, and WHO did this to you.... all I could feel was pure anger. Mainly because I knew him, and he was a friend. I feel bad over the anger I felt, but at the time, I didn't care. I couldn't see past my anger. Yes, he was a friend, but not like you, and I was hurting. I couldn't believe he was capable of something like that. I had no idea what would happen only 3 months later. I regret the thoughts I had back then. But when you're mourning over someone you considered one of your best friends, and you find out certain things, you can't help your emotions. But you already know how I felt don't you.... I'm sure you heard the things I said between tears at night when crying myself to sleep. 

My daughter will never know her uncle Renzo, I know you woulda loved her and she woulda loved you. She knows who you are, cause I still have your pic in the house, and I tell her about you all the time.

I won't let your memory die, not in my house. I still talk about the past, what a goofball you were, how we met at the Y, how you always used to call out to me when u saw me at LG. I laugh at some of the memories. 

I wish I had a chance to say bye, or see you once last time before, but we never know when our time will come right ? I cherish every moment I had with you, and regret the opportunities missed, and you know what I mean, but that'll stay between us. Our secret. 

I love you Lorenzo, and I'll never stop, and I'll never forget you. 

I might forget the sound of your voice, might forget your laugh, but I'll never forget your words, your friendship, and the way you made me feel. 

Its been 13 years I been holding this in. It feels good to get it out, but it doesn't help the hurt stop. I am even having a hard time seeing cause my eyes are full of tears. I wonder what you'd be up to now, what you'd be doing. 13 years, and the pain is still there..... when will it stop ? When will it go away ? I was only a friend and I feel this anger and pain, I can only imagine how your family is feeling. My only hope is that you're up in heaven smiling down on us, keeping us all safe, and proud of what we have accomplished since your passing, and how much people loved you and STILL love you. 

I will hold on to the memories forever..... until I see you again.... I love you....always

Monday, May 30, 2016

30 Day Writing Challenge... Day 30

Its May 30th, and you know what that means ?
It means we have finally reached day 30 of the 30 day challenge !!!

*insert applauds here*

Ya'll don't understand, I've tried quite a few times to do 30 day challenges of all kinds before, mostly ones where you have to post certain pictures to either Facebook or Instagram, and I've always had a hard time finishing them. Either I get bored, or can't find what I want to post. This time was a wee bit easier. Maybe because it involved writing instead of just posting images.

I want to thank Ya'll for sticking with me and coming back every day to read my posts.

For today's final challenge, I'm supposed to write about "one thing you're excited for".

How do I choose just one thing to write about ? I'm excited about quite a few things.

For example, next week some time, I'm supposed to be getting my new laptop. I can't wait, it'll be way better for when I'm editing my Youtube videos, and other stuff. My current desktop computer is very slow, and whenever I try to edit my videos, it lags so bad, that I don't do a proper job editing them that I know I can do. Plus it ends up taking me nearly 2 or 3 hours just to edit a barely 10 minute video. Enough is enough now. If I want to focus on making something of my Youtube, then I need to have a better computer to edit with.

I'm also excited for June 23rd.
Why, you ask ? Because June 23rd is my daughter's last day of school for the summer. I'm excited for that because her and I have a lot of fun things planned for the summer. Not to mention that for 2 months, we can sleep in and don't have to worry about waking up at 6am, don't have to worry about dress code, early bedtimes, etc.

What about Ya'll, what are you excited about ?
Let me know in the comments section below.

Today's music challenge,
"Your favorite song at this time last year".

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I don't really listen to recent music, so I don't even know what songs were popular last year, but I do remember that around this time last year, I was listening to a lot of merengue and bachata, and the song I really loved a lot was "Darte un Beso" by Prince Royce.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

30 Day Writing Challenge... Day 29

I love Sundays, but my reasons are totally contradicting of each other, go figure.

See, I love Sundays, because that's the day my daughter and I do our crafting thing. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but every Sunday, my daughter and I sit in the kitchen, and we do different kinds of crafts. Some times we do one together, but we also tend to do our own thing, like I'd work on my polymer clay, and she'd pretend she's doing the same by using her play-doh. (I don't let her use my polymer clay, cause even though its clay, I haven't seen anywhere if its safe or not for children like how non-toxic play-doh is).


On the other hand, the other reason I love Sundays (for now), is because I know that in just a few short hours, she'll be on her way to school. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter more than life itself, but her and I have such similar personalities, that we clash, ALOT. lol. From the time my daughter has been able to talk in full sentences, I don't think I can recall a single day yet where we haven't had at least one argument. Well, with the exceptions of days when she isn't feeling well, because on those days, she is my cuddly lil princess who needs mommy, and needs mommy's cuddles. I won't lie, as independent as my daughter is becoming, I tend to love those days, since lately, cuddles with her are few and far between.

Oddly though, I can't wait till she goes to school, but at the same time, I end up missing her, and the silence is too much for me, and I can't wait for 2pm to come cause that's when my babygirl comes home.

Today, however, we didn't do any crafts. Both of us were tired and my back has been killing me since this morning (I must've slept wrong or something), and the thought of sitting on those hard kitchen chairs just was not appealing today. So, we went for a walk instead. It was raining all morning, so we couldn't go to the park, so we walked up to the McD's near me, and I let her play in the playground for a few hours, then we came home, and together cooked an early meal for dinner. Usually we don't cook (or eat) supper till around 5pm, but both of us were hungry, and since we skipped lunch, I figured we'd cook at 2:30, and it'll be ready by 3ish, then we can eat. It was really good too.

Now its 11:30 and I'm sitting down to write today's challenge before I start watching more episodes of Family Matters on my computer.

So now.....

Welcome to day 29 of the writing challenge.
Can you believe it....tomorrow is the last day ! I don't know what I'm gonna do after this challenge is done. What will challenge me to continue constantly writing ? Hmmm, who knows, but its been fun for sure, maybe I'll continue frequently writing. Probably won't be daily, but I'll try my best.

Today's challenge, I'm supposed to write about "Your 21st birthday, (and if not yet 21, your last birthday)".

My 21st birthday.....

Honestly, I did sweet fuck all (pardon my language), because I still very upset about what happened on my birthday the year before (long very emotional story and I'm so over it already...I think, but really don't want to talk about it again), and I just really didn't want to celebrate and risk something else bad happening on my birthday. So I went to La Cancha, chilled with my boys for a bit, drank, then came home.

I was also in a kind of depressed state, because I was still mourning the loss of the child I miscarried in June of that year, and then breaking up with my boyfriend like a week or 2 later. Let me tell you, my best guy friend at the time (same one I spoke about in Day 3 of this challenge) , wasn't too pleased about how all that went down, I had to stop him from going after my ex. But I'm glad I stopped him, cause my ex and I are now really great friends, and had my bestie done what he wanted, I don't think we would be such great friends today.

I don't remember if I did anything with my mom that year, cause I know my baby brother was only a few months old then, (4 months old), so I MIGHT have spent time there, cause I know when my brother Brian was a baby, I spent a lot of time with my mom, and I think she might have made me a dinner and/ possibly a cake. I love my mom's cakes, they are so yummy. Can't ask mommy though, her memory is just as shot as mine is haha.

So that's how my 21st birthday went down.

Coulda been better of course, but coulda been worse too. At least I got to spend time with my vatos, and that helped make the day a good one, every day with them was a good day in my eyes.

Come back tomorrow for the LAST day of this writing challenge, which is "One thing you're excited for".

Today's song challenge,

"A song from your childhood"

Easy one......
This song, I performed with 2 of my friends at school for talent night, it was fun, I still remember all the rehearsals after school and weekends, and the costumes we wore. That song is "The Loco-motion" by Kylie Minogue.

Saturday, May 28, 2016

30 Day Writing Challenge... Day 28

Spending time with loved ones is always the best way to spend the day. I spent a wonderful afternoon with my daughter and some of our family. These people, (aside from Jubjub), are not biological family, but they are still uber important to us, and spending time with them is always fun, and always puts a huge smile on my daughter's face, which makes me happy.

We had a lil gathering for my nephew Mick'e's 3rd birthday (even though it was back in April, better late than never), and although a few people didn't make it, the kids still had fun, which is what matters. It was at the Harvey's restaurant in Lasalle, which has a nice sized play area for the kids (almost like the playparks in some McD's). Met some new friends, and seen some old friends I hadn't seen in what felt like forever. My daughter enjoyed seeing her aunties and uncles, and especially her nana and her 2 favorite cousins. (her and my nephew Ej are besties, and have been ever since they were born only 2 months apart).

Then we went to the hospital to visit my brother Keeferz, because he was in an accident and broke his tibia and needed emergency surgery and was keeping him there for a few days. It was nice seeing him, and I got to sit on his hospital bed with him, and OMG is that thing ever comfortable ! I swear, had my daughter not been cranky since she was over tired from playing all day, I probably woulda stayed till last metro, but sadly I had to leave around 9:15, cause it was already past her bedtime (8pm), and she was getting too cranky. Plus she is scared of hospitals, so she wasn't a happy camper to begin with, even though at the party she was constantly asking if it was time to go see uncle keeferz yet.

All in all, it was a great day.

So moving on,

Thanks for coming back for day 28's writing challenge.
I can't believe I'm actually gonna make it !
Haven't missed a day yet, and we only got 2 days left !

So as you know, today's challenge, is "A word or phrase you constantly use".

You know, I can't really think of ones I use often, I mean there's the normal ones like "really ?", "oh lawd", "wow", and "wtf" lol, and when it comes to my daughter, I tend to over use "what did I just say", "because I said so that's why".

I'm sure there are more words or phrases I constantly use, but I just can't think of any right now. And also, let me know, is there a saying or phrase you know ME to use constantly that I haven't mentioned ?

What about ya'll ?
Let me know in the comments section what words/phrases you use a lot.

Come back tomorrow for day 29, which is "The night of your 21st birthday, (if not yet 21, the last birthday you had)"

Today's music challenge,
"A song that makes you feel guilty".

That would be, "Unfaithful" by Rihanna. I'm not an angel, and even though now I have learned my lesson and refuse to cheat in a relationship, I'd rather just break up than cheat, back in the day, I'd say teens-early 20's, I didn't have the same mentality I had now. Back then it was more like "play before you get played". My uptown boys taught me that. I'm sure I could've hurt quite a few hearts had it gotten out, unless it did and they just didn't say so.


Friday, May 27, 2016

30 Day Writing Challenge... Day 27

Lawdddddd its hot outside today !!

32 degrees Celsius (or 90 degrees Fahrenheit). And just think, that is BEFORE you factor in the humidex level. I swear its dangerous for people who have breathing issues.

If you don't have to be out there, don't go ! Stay your butt inside where its cool and you can rest comfortable.

Tomorrow supposed to be just as bad, but I have a very important family gathering to go to, plus afterwards, I have one of my siblings to go visit in the hospital, so my fat ass is bearing the heat and going out of my house. But please believe, I'm bringing nice ice cold water with me for me and my daughter ! Just incase.

Are you ready for today's writing challenge ? I'm telling you, its gonna be short cause I was smart, I kept my butt in the house all day, sittin' infront of my fan to stay cool. As you know from yesterday's post, today's challenge, is "What you wore today".

Its simple.....

All I wore today, was a dark pink (almost fuchsia) tank top that my sister Shay has given me years ago, it has a large black rose silk screened on to it, and truth be told, its one of my favorite pieces of clothing I own. Oh, and the bottom of it has a ruffled edge too. Its quite feminine, yet casual at the same time, and not overly feminine.

I was in my own house, so no, I didn't wear any bottoms, mind you, YES, I had on panties you dirty minded people lol, but I didn't bother putting on pants or shorts. For what ? Its just me and my daughter home, and I wasn't expecting any company. If I can't sit comfortably in my own home, what's the point of having my own place ?

I know in yesterday's blog I told ya'll I was gonna try to take a selfie, but sadly, I didn't manage to, one, my hair was a mess, 2, I aint shaved my legs yet and ya'll aint seeing that lol, and 3, my back was so sore today making it hard to move, so taking mirror selfies was the furthest thing from my mind. I apologize for that.

But one day I'll probably post a pic of me wearing the shirt on my instagram (ChispaSpeaks_yt if you wanna check it out).

Don't forget to check out my latest video that I just uploaded today

Join me tomorrow for day 28's challenge, which is "The word/ phrase you use constantly".
Today's music challenge,
" A song that you wish you could play".
That would be the drum solo in one of my favorite songs by Metallica, "Sad But True".

Thursday, May 26, 2016

30 Day Writing Challenge... Day 26

Am I the only "weirdo" who actually enjoys it when it rains ?

I used to hate thunder, but recently, I find that thunder combined with heavy rain tends to calm me down and put me in this almost zen like state of mind. So at peace.

 Its not raining right now, but the way its gloomy outside, it looks like it'll be raining any min now. At least I hope so.

Today is day 26 of the writing challenge, and for today, I'm supposed to write "Things you want to say to an ex". I could be here forever writing when I think about certain exes.

But there is some things I want to say to a certain ex in particular that I've been holding in for so long, and although I won't name anyone, they should know its aimed at them (if ever they read this)

Dear Ex,
                 I let my guard down with you and let you in to my world. I trusted you, which is hard for me to do, and how do you repay me ? By playing me for a fool. I was there for you when no one else was, put you ahead of my own feelings and needs. I pushed away family and friends for you. Anyone who spoke ill of you, heard an earful from me. I defended you, even when I thought you were in the wrong. You made me believe what we had was special, until you proved to me that it wasn't. I would spend HOURS listening to you vent about everything and anything, even losing sleep just to be there for you. In my eyes, you could do no wrong, you were an angel in my eyes. Not bad like the way you claimed everyone perceived you as, just misunderstood. For things to end the way they did, no closure, not a word, cut deep like a knife. As if to say that everything I did for you over the years meant nothing, that I meant nothing. Not only did I lose someone I thought was "the one", I lost my best friend, the one person on this earth I felt really understood me and cared for me as deeply as I cared for them. I used to make people jealous of what we had, cause everyone thought it was perfect and that we were perfect for each other. Guess they were wrong. I thought after all this time that I'd be over the pain, and over you, but I thought wrong. I still can't look at your picture without feeling a deep anger and sadness. Sometimes I want to just reach out to you, ask you WHY, and if I EVER meant anything to you, but I'm afraid of getting no answer, or getting an answer I don't think I'm prepared to hear. We were friends before anything, dare I even say best friends, and to lose that for what...... really hurts. I've spent many nights crying over you, so many nights that I didn't even think I could cry again. Now I am just numb to it all. You are the reason I have stayed single since, you are the reason I can't let anyone in the way I let you in. You are the reason I can't trust anyone anymore. Will I get over it ? In time. Will I ever love again ? I'm sure I will. Will I ever trust again ? Ah, now there's the million dollar question....what do you think ? How could I possibly ? Especially with my depression and anxiety, which YOU know all too well what that's like since you suffer from the same disorders, which is what I thought bonded us even more. Thank you for making me feel like trash, and helping me to believe that I'm not capable of being loved. You brought my smile back once upon a time, but now you've also become the one to take it away again.

Wow that felt good to get that out there.
I have A LOT more to say to this specific ex, but then it would make it obvious as to who I'm talking about, and I like to leave people wondering. I know some people close to me will already know who it is about

Join me tomorrow for day 27's challenge, which is "What you wore today".
Who knows, I may even take a full body selfie for ya'll. Haven't done that in awhile.

Today's music challenge,
"A song you can play on an instrument"

I can't play instruments anymore, when I was little, I used to play drums and piano, but never stuck with it. So instead, I'll just post a song that kind of goes along with today's post. "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton. I know its not the same meaning to the song as what I talked about today, but the words go perfectly with how this situation has made me feel for the longest time.