Its been awhile huh ?

 

Wow, the last time I posted on there was in 2018. I need to try to do better at keeping up with my blog huh. Not like anyone really follows my blog, so its not really being missed lol. As far as I know, people only come to my blog when I share a link for it, so its whatever I guess. 

But I'm here now, and like they say, better late than never, right ? But wait, who are "they", and how do they know its better late than never ? Oh well, that's an age old question that will never be answered.

The question that CAN be answered however, is where have I been ? 

I could go in to this long story about my whereabouts, bore you to death, or I can give you a plain and simple short answer..... My mental health has been kind of a mess lately, and I been keeping to myself a lot so that I don't take it out on people who don't deserve it. 

I did make a Youtube video about it, if you want to watch it, I'll link it right here. 

But simply put, I needed a break. From what exactly, I still couldn't tell you a precise answer, but I am working on slowly getting back to myself. 

Much has gone on since 2018 when I last posted on here. If I were to start trying to explain it all, we'd be here for days, so I'll save you the boredom. I am trying to get back in to my blogging, because I find that it helps me to get things off my chest without having to burden anyone with my problems. I can hear Fifi now (my sister/best friend/p.i.c), and I can feel "the look". I *KNOW* I am not a burden, BUT when you deal with mental health issues like I do, sometimes you can't help but FEEL a certain way. Also too, people have their own lives and problems to deal with, it can't always be about me. 

Plus, this is also a way for my beautiful daughter to look back on in the future and get a glimpse in to what was going through my mind when she was growing up. She can look back on this years down the line and be like "oh, that's what mommy was going through". Sort of like a time capsule. 

So in ending....

I am going to TRY to be more active on here, whether people follow my blog or not, whether this gets read or not, for my own peace of mind more than anything. I used to keep a  diary (well still do, but haven't written in it since 2017 when Tony passed), but I lost the interest in writing, or maybe I just became lazy, but I find it much easier to just get my thoughts down using a computer than the traditional pen & paper. 

That's it for now, I have another blog entry I want to write, not sure if I'll do it tonight or tomorrow, but it will get posted eventually. For now, goodnight, and like my friend Amanda Beth (click her name to check out her yt channel, she is awesome) says.... 

Thank you for wasting your time with me.