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Not giving up !!

Thursday, January 12, 2017

I am fed up !!! We're adults, not teenagers FFS !

*warning*
This post might be abit long, cause its been on my mind for awhile, but I need to say this, because the situation is getting out of hand now. 


Whassup my lil Sparks, how's it going ? I hope ya'll are doing better than me tonight. I'm not feeling well, I caught my daughter's cold, and any who knows me personally, knows, when I get sick, i get SICKKKKKKK. Not to mention I'm really annoyed right now. Well, I BEEN annoyed, but I'm at my witts end with the amount of annoyance I'm feeling right now. 


Put it this way, I am so annoyed, I ALMOST shut down all my social media accounts AND ALMOST canceled my channel last night. But then I thought about it, and nope, I worked too damn hard on my channel to get it where it is today to let some haters/trolls run me off !!


Let me just say before I start my little rant, don't expect to see some names, because I'm not that type of person, I won't bring shade to any particular people, and won't call out anyone and give them ammunition to attack me, nope not me. You may THINK you know what I'm talking about, or who, but you can speculate all you want, I won't confirm or deny any names even if I'm asked in private. THAT, is how you shut down drama....by ignoring it ! 


Now, With that said, I have a question for ya'll....


WHEN THE HECK DID WE STEP IN TO A TIME MACHINE AND TURN BACK TIME TO HIGH SCHOOL DAYS ?!?! 


I swear, the last few months on YouTube, that is what it feels like has been happening. There is so much drama, it makes your head hurt. Well mine at least. I did a video about Yt drama and why I stay out of it months ago, but honestly, that hasn't stopped people from trying to drag me in to it. Not happening, so just stop, like seriously. 


I pride myself on the fact that I am able to stay neutral and not choose this one's side over that one. Even though I have my own opinions on the drama that has been happening, I keep it to myself, because I don't want anyone saying that I am taking sides or anything. Now, I'm being accused of "flipflopping" because I am honestly friends with a bunch of people who don't get along with each other. 


Like WHAT ?!?! Is you serious right now ?!?!


So because I have a brain of my own, and don't allow anyone to influence who I become friends with based on who they like or don't like, I am flipflopping ? PLEASE ! Its called BEING AN ADULT ! Just because "Jane" doesn't like "Susan", doesn't mean I can't be friends with both of them ! 


I've said before, I do not like drama, and I do not want to be a part of it. Yes, sometimes I will ask questions, because I am not involved in the drama, so I want to come to my own conclusions and try to understand what's going on.


Are you lost yet ?
Sorry if you are, but I'm trying my best to explain how I feel without releasing any names. 


Lemme try and break it down for you this way....



Months ago, I would say late spring, early summer, I found a channel of someone who had been posting content about a youtuber I used to follow (until she changed for the worse and I could no longer support her), then I decided to check this new person's channel and watch some other videos, and I liked what I saw, so I clicked subscribe, as most of us do on Yt when we find a content creator who creates content we like to watch. 


One day, while browsing my list of "subscriptions" to catch up on the new videos that my fave yt'ers had posted, I noticed this person was hosting something called a live hangout, which I hadn't heard about before, so I was curious and I clicked in to listen. I enjoyed myself so much that night in that hangout, evevn though I was only talking on sidechat, that I decided to keep coming back for the hangouts, cause they were fun. I made quite a few new aquaintances from those hangouts, and enjoyed it because many of the people on "panel" (as its called when people are involved in the hangout on the mic) as well as the sidechat made me feel welcome, and made me feel like a part of something. It felt nice to see people say "Hey Chispa", "welcome back Chispa", and actually engage with me in conversation. Many of those people I have come to consider friends, and even though we only talk via sidechats, or tweets & dms (for now), they still have become important to me, asking how I'm doing, how my daughter is doing, talking to me about things that have to do with my daughter especially since many of them are themselves single moms, so they know what I'm going through. 


It was like a little community I felt a part of, or better yet a little family.


Still following me ? 


Then drama happened. So the little family I felt a part of separated. I felt like a little child who was watching her parents go through a nasty divorce, and not knowing what to do. So, I decided, I wasn't going to do anything, that I would stay neutral, and that as long as I (or my child) were not being dragged in to the mess, there was no harm in being friends with everyone. Cause I mean seriously, we're all adults, and everyone has said on many occassions to many people "be friends with whoever you want, we won't make you choose sides". So I was like great, I can still talk to all the friends I made and not have to stick to just one hangout. So when the others made their hangouts, I'd spend my nights jumping back and forth from h/o to h/o, saying hi to everyone, asking how everyone was, then settling in to listen to whoever had the most fun h/o for that night. I wasn't going for the gossip, I wasn't even involving myself in the gossip. 9 times outta 10, when I was talking on the sidechat with people, I was talking about completely irrelevant things, things that weren't even being talked about on the mic, unless the mic chat was something non-drama and fun to talk about. 


I thought that was enough, but apparently not. 


As i said earlier, some people have started accusing me of being a flipflopper because I go in everyone's hangouts. Which is ridiculous. Name me one time where I instigated drama or kept the drama going. 


Its okay, I'll wait...... 
*humming jeopardy theme music* 

NEVER, that's right. I have, on occassion, asked questions pertaining to drama that was being talked about, but that wasn't to instigate or continue it, it was simply for me to understand what the bloody hell is going on. Honestly, its to the point, the drama has become so far fetched and ridiculous, that it makes it hard to believe ANYONE who is involved in drama or says anything about the drama. Hence why I stay out of it. 

The straw that broke the camel's back was last night. 

I was in a h/o, and people were talking about drama (as per usual), and I asked a few questions. I had made a comment about someone who was in that particular chat, and it was a compliment, because that person had never said anything wrong TO ME, or ABOUT ME (or my child) as far as I know, and being the person I am, just because my other friends don't like this person, doesn't mean that I will automatically jump on the band wagon and dislike them, until I see or hear something for myself that I dislike. Follow me ? Anyways, someone who was watching the chat, took it upon themselves to screenshot my remark and send it to one of my good friends, I don't know if it was to discredit me, or if it was to anger my friend (because she has been the subject of attack alot recently), but either way, I almost lost a good friend yesterday, over a friggin screenshot. Luckily, her and I talked things out and we are okay, I explained why I said what I did, and she understood, and even though she's younger than me, she gave me some good advice about trusting people. 

My point is, WHY

Why do that ? Did *I* do something to upset someone to warrant them trying to break up a friendship ? Is your hatred for my friend so intense that you have to make her lose all the people she considers friends just to give yourself some gross satisfaction ?

Why can't people, grown ass people, understand that it IS okay for people to be friends with whomever they choose, even if its someone you don't get along with ?! That doesn't diminish the value of your friendship any just because of who they choose to befriend. If you think someone they are friends with is a bad person, let them find that out on their own, you can't expect people to learn from their mistakes if they are prevented from making them in the first place. 


Okay, I've babbled enough, my point is, (if you're even reading to this point), leave me out of the drama, I have enough to deal with in my real life without adding internet drama to it. Don't screen shot my words, don't try to cause drama with me and ANY of my friends from YouTube, just accept the fact that I am friends with many people, and you may not like everyone I am friends with, just like I may not like everyone you are friends with.


Come on, I mean this IS the internet, many of us may not even EVER meet in person, especially those Yt friendships, so why mess with something that gives us joy, even if just temporarily ? Is your life that boring that you need to mess with others ? 


Why can't we all just get along ?!

 p.s. feel free to leave comments and let me know what you think about this and what i've said.

4 comments:

  1. EXACTLY! Chispa, guuurl, you speak my language.

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  2. Right on my dear friend! You said everything I feel! There's people I like, and people I don't think are the type of people I personally want in my life.... some from each "side", lol. Seriously? Yup.... high school. That's the only think I can relate this entire situation to. A lot of the people who like/create/stir up the drama, have taken the fun out of it for people like us. We just started listening and chatting to make friends, share some laughs, have a lil "adult convo", and even get some support and encouragement from some really awesome people.... when our kiddos go to bed. But, lately, the drama has just been so loud and distracting..... and pointless!!! I've seen many innocent people pulled into the middle of it, and that's not ok! Chispa, you are by far one of the sweetest people I've met on YT. You never speak badly about anyone! You've been kind and nonjudgemental towards everyone! It upsets me that someone would do that to you. There's been a few incidents where my name was mentioned as well, but as always, I've chosen to ignore it and stay far away from it! Ok! Just had to let you know that I totally understand every word you said. I'm always here for you! Don't ever forget that! ❤ya!

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